I heart…

Valentines Day.  Red roses, chocolate, rings.  Kissing in the rain.  Romance.

For many girls, this is all they think about.  Moaning and swooning over Mr. So-And-So, the latest teen heart-throb, even book characters.  Some girls start planning their wedding the day they have their first crush.  Others give away their purity at the first chance.

But I am not like most girls.  And I’m here to tell you about my heart.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a good romance.  Peeta and Katniss were meant for each other.  Jack Dawson and Rose Bukater had something special.  I cry every time I watch the scene in Up with Carl and Ellie.  Slumdog Millionaire is my favorite movie hands down.  So I’m not some heartless freak.  I’m just unique.

I have never dated anyone in my life.  Yes, this is something that my parents have mandated (at least until I get out of high school…probably college…maybe my 40’s…), but it’s also something I’ve upheld.  Honestly, I cannot tell you how many opportunities I’ve been presented with.  Even people willing to date in secret.  It’s not that I’ve never been asked – I’ve just always said no.

I’ve never been kissed.  In a romantic way, I mean.  (Seriously, love pecks from your mom do not count).  I have been in several situations where a kiss was a possibility, but that’s not the route I want to take.  I even punched one guy in the nose because he wouldn’t back off when I told him to.

Why don’t I just go with the “flow” of our society?  I’m a pretty easy-going person typically.  So why this?  Because I believe that I’ve been called to save myself, my purity.  But it’s not just me, it’s a reqirement for anyone who puts their faith in Christ and wants to obey the will and laws of God.

“Wait,” you ask, “the Bible talks about dating?”  No.  The Bible never has the word “dating” written out.  But God does lay down the law on what sexual purity looks like.  And it’s not just abstaining from sex.

First He lays out the groundwork for this all – the very definition of marriage.  “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”  (Gen. 2:24).  This is the kind of relationship God intended for us to have!

Next He warns us not to step outside this boundary.  “You shall not commit adultery” and “You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife” are clearly stated in the Ten Commandments.  Even most non-believers know this!

However, it doesn’t stop here.  Funny thing about when Jesus came down to earth, He had a way of shaking up everyone’s ideas of what to do and not do.  He raises the bar.  He told us, “You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’  But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”  (Matt. 5:27-28).

So, if Jesus (you know, the savior of the universe, and all?) says that looking at someone with lust is the same as adultery, why does everyone think making out is okay??  Most Christians I know think that as long as they’re not having pre-marital sex, they’re good.  But if any lustful look or any charged touch is adultery, are any of us living up to the standard?

Believe me, I am not totally innocent here!  I am not preaching at you!  I have struggled, fallen, and gotten back up again.  I am guilty of having lust in my heart.  How can anyone not after watching Channing Tatum with his shirt off!  Seriously though, what can we do?

I’m no expert, but I’m sure a great place to start is to AVOID SITUATIONS THAT PUT YOU IN A POSITION WHERE COMPROMISE IS A POSSIBILITY!  Some people tell me that they are “just friends” with their boyfriend or girlfriend (whatever, I’ll leave that up to you and God), and that’s cool.  Whether you are just friends or “just friends”, avoid being alone!  Groups are best, and are honestly more fun most of the time anyway!  Teens, face it, you have hormones that you probably will not master until you’re in your twenties.  And until then don’t test your ability to control them! 

Now that you’ve heard my soapbox, and know what I’m not doing, and if you’re not totally bored to death, you might like to know what I do instead.

I love to read.  I love to write.  I knit, and crochet, and do intricate beadwork.  I raise rabbits.  I spin.  I have a business.  I go for walks.   I go for hikes.  I go for bike rides.  I study, cook, clean.  I make medicine from herbs.  I sing, sometimes with a choir, and sometimes by myself.  I have a family that loves me, and I love them more than anything.  I go to the movies with friends.  I wear galoshes with shorts when it isn’t raining, and splash through puddles in my flip-flops.

And I’m the one “missing out” because I’m not in a relationship that could end any minute?

Is it a bad thing that I’m content to live life, to just be me?  I am comfortable with who I am.  I don’t need a guy to hang my self-esteem on.  Does this mean that I will never date?  Not necessarily.  Do most people call me a snobbish prude?  Probably.  But I don’t care.

I don’t know if I’ll ever get married.  Definitely not until I find the man who loves me for my oddities, and not in spite of them.  If I ever find him, standing across from him on my wedding day,  I will be able to give him a ring as the symbol of my purity and faithfulness.  I will be his and his alone.  He will be entrusted with my whole heart, to take care of and to cherish.

I will be able to give him my one and only First Kiss, and that’s something I won’t trade in for the world.



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