A Soul-Searching Contemplation

I love my brain.  Okay, so at times it does cause me to do really dumb things (like shove my foot so far into my mouth I can scratch my stomach with my toes), I’ll admit that.  At this moment it’s not doing anything stupid, although some would argue that me blogging isn’t exactly the smartest…  We’ll just go with me loving it.

How can I love something that dictates so many unwise things, you ask?  Many reasons (actually).  Today one in particular is standing out.  Allow me to elaborate.

My mind has this wonderful gift of retaining words.  Right now my favorites are dubious, façade, phenomenal, putrid, and one that I’m quite good at applying –adoxography (“Skilled writing on an unimportant subject”).  On a side note, my sister’s favorite word is sesquipedalian (“Characterized by the use of long words”).

These interesting combinations of letters may get temporarily lost amongst the jumble of everyday life, yet they have a way of resurfacing at interesting times.  While talking to my mom earlier, I tried to give her a picture of the mood I was in.  I was attempting to capture the bone-crushing exhaustion and inertia I was experiencing, and the words insatiable lethargy popped into my head.

It made me pause.  Is that an accurate description?  Or an oxymoron?  It is by definition a “Lack of energy” that “Cannot be satisfied or appeased; that always craves for more”.  Something that is all-consuming yet lacks motivation?  Is it even possible?

After much reflection, dictionary reference, psychoanalysis, and a little orange juice, I came to several conclusions.  The first is that deep thought with an addled brain is never safe.  Smoke may or may not be wafting from my ears at this moment.

The other is that anything can take over our lives if we let it.  Escapism, apathy, and indifference (while seemingly mild and not concerning) are the most poisonous of all.  Revelation 3:16 says of us “So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth.”

But how in the world am I supposed to fight my lethargy?  We are encouraged to be fervent in spirit and serve the Lord, instead of being slothful in zeal (Romans 12:11).  Also, we are to watch and pray so that we don’t fall into temptation (Mark 14:38).

I don’t know about you, but I have a sudden urge to be on my knees!  I’m not particularly fond of being vomited out of Jesus’ mouth, and I’d much rather be serving Him!

So this is what I get for having a brain full of words that come and go as they will.  And this is what you get for reading all about it!  But if God is glorified through my random ramblings, that is enough for me.

Until my brain is recharged,

Fairlight Maiden



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